01
Nov
09

Control

Why do I continue to allow my ex to bother me? It’s not like I put him in control but he always seems to find a way to weasel into the control chair.

Halloween was his holiday this year. I have the boys this week (through this weekend) but he had them for a few hours for trick or treating. I specifically texted him and told him my mom would be here at 5 when he picks them up so he needs to ring the door bell and the boys will come out. No…. I didn’t tell him where I would be since I’m learning I don’t have to be an open book to him anymore. I’m a good communicator but I’ve learned it’s none of his damn business where I am and why.  (I had to work over time and for a couple hours my mom watched the boys).

So… 5 pm rolls around. No sign of fucktard. I told my mom I would check my phone (texts). My cellphone doesn’t work in my office so I have to go outside to check. Sure enough, there’s a text a 4:15 p.m. saying they won’t be here until 5:30 due to trick or treating not beginning until 6 p.m.  and to make sure they boys had dinner so there’s no belly aches from eating candy or being hungry.

First of all, I never let my boys go hungry. Second, DIDN’T HE UNDERSTAND MY TEXT EARLIER THAT DAY? I wasn’t going to be home…my mom was here with the boys until 5 p.m.

I ended up quickly texting back ” I didn’t get your message until now if you don’t recall I’m not home and it’s 5:25 p.m…. the boys have been waiting for you since 5 p.m. wondering where you are”. Later I also texted him back saying it would be ever so kind for next time to get a little better notice since my mom had plans with grandpa after5 pm…. of course no response from dickwad.

So, that’s not the end of my control freak ex on Halloween night……. My son needs medication and I sent his “night pills” so that he could take them before coming home. We’ve done this routine for YEARS. Usually about 7 pm he gets them. I get a text about 8 p.m.  “B’s pills are in the candy bag”.  I texted back “You didn’t give the pills that I sent to him tonight”?  Text response from ex was “Nope, no drinks here”.

ASSHOLE. Do you people see why I get so upset? What is so fricking hard to grab a water and give the pills to our son? Why does my ex have to be so controlling and so difficult? AND why do I continually let myself get annoyed with his behavior? My heart races and I get furious at times. I cannot control this man nor do I want to… all I want is for him not to be so difficult.

I know this isn’t the last time this kind of thing will happen. I was married to him for 15 years. He wasn’t this difficult when we were married.  Oh, maybe I should reflect on that…. I’m thinking because he was banging 2 or God knows how many women besides me, his wife…. he probably didn’t need to feel like he had to control me the way he is now. Hmmmmm? Food for thought.

Speaking of control. I’m about to start taking control of my weight and health again. It’s about damn time huh? I’m looking into WW online as we speak.

~A

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